My humor zones, and other such stuff
When I was in 3rd grade, I said “damn” and the teacher heard me, so I told her I was doing a project on beavers, but I kind of freaked out that she would find out I was lying, so I actually made a diorama about a beaver dam just so no one would know I swore.
my mom tried to teach our goats to pee in one certain spot by giving them treats when they’d pee in that spot
they think that now whenever they pee they get a treat
so whenever they see my mom
laughed for a solid five minutes
behaviorism gone wrong
Pavlov is laughing in his grave
i wish tumblr did cool ass shit for their users like youtubers and viners can like..make a career off what they do and go to cool conventions and meet cool ppl man i picked the wrong social media to put all of my time into
Feminists: Hey. We'd like for women to be treated as equals.
Society: Oh sure. You want "equality" but then you expect men to open the door and pay for meals, is that it? That's not equality! That's special treatment!
Feminists: Um, no not really. You don't have to open the door and pay for our meals. We can do that ourselves.
Society: *gasp* What? You don't want men to open doors for you? Why do you hate nice people? No wonder chivalry is dead! You'd yell at a man for just being polite and opening the door for you?
Feminists: No! We're just saying you don't have to do it just because we're women!
Society: And while we're at it, how come you don't protect male victims of abuse and rape, huh?
Feminists: Actually, we think it's really terrible that men are forced to stay quiet about their abuse because they're worried about not being taken seriously. It's this Alpha Male myth that causes it. Men are abused and raped and they're not helped because men are supposed to be tough and able to handle it. This also goes for men not being able to express emotions.
Society: Oh, so you just want men to be a bunch of pansies then, huh? You hate men for wanting to be strong LIKE NATURE INTENDED THEM TO BE. You'll be sorry when you end up married to some weak, simpering fool who likes to talk about his "feelings"!
Society: Also, you can't have equal rights because women aren't aggressive enough to want higher pay and stuff.
Feminists: HOW ABOUT YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF AND THE HORSE YOU RODE IN ON?
Society: Jesus, calm down. No need to be so aggressive.